Friday, July 13, 2007

Soliciting counsel

Gentle reader, I beseech you to check out my new credentials package and provide feedback, if you would. Thanks.


CaliforniaTeacherGuy said...

Just a couple of comments about your Narrative Biography, from a former editor:

1. Stick with "I am," rather than the more informal "I'm."

2. Get rid of the ampersands (&) in favor of "and."

3. Maybe you would like to consider calling it a Narrative Autobiography?

Otherwise, well written!

Peter A. Stinson said...

Thanks for the feedback. I'm straight away changing what I'm calling it. Actually: Already done as I write this.

I need to think about the tone, more informal vs. more toward the formal. I grapple with this. Part of me wants to make this more "me just talking" and more informal vs. more impersonal, some would call it more "professional," and objective. I'm going to think a little more about this and would love to hear more from Mr. Guy and everyone else.

The ampersands pose a similar, but different problem. On the one hand it connotes an informality, I think. On the other hand, I will often use the ampersand for a particular purpose. I can think of two. I use the ampersand when it is used in an organizational sense. For instance in the term "maintenance and logistics command" the ampersand is most frequently used in official documents such as instructions and notes. The second time I often use the ampersand is when listing and I have two items which are one. For instance, I might write, He was looking for an easy menu, such as roast turkey, pot pie, and peanut butter & jelly." Okay, I'm not sure that was a good example, but you see what I mean.

Having said all that, I've had one other person talk to me about the use of ampersands.

Other thoughts, gentle readers?

My thanks to Mr. Guy for dropping by. I was saddened to see that you've stopped your search. I say don't; don't stop looking. You don't have a current fall-back plan, and if you did it would be a fall-back and not a dream. Press on.

CaliforniaTeacherGuy said...

Peter A.: Thanks for the encouragement in your last paragraph. Actually, I've regrouped and my spirit is in much better shape now than it was when I wrote earlier this morning. I'll be blogging Sunday about how I plan to forge ahead. Keep watching!

Ms. George said...

Are you looking for a job in a particular area or would you relocate? You have presented yourself quite well. There are a few independent schools in the Hudson Valley, but any school would be lucky to have you.
This is probably too picky, but in your statement about teaching/philosophy, you mentioned 'challenge' several times in one short paragraph. One of the writing tips I teach my lovelies is 'Repetition for Effect' but I wonder if your point could be made with fewer repeats.
This is really minor, so if you choose to leave it alone, no worries.
I do like the contrast between the serious and lighthearted in your Top Ten.

Peter A. Stinson said...

Ms. George,

Thanks for your comment.

Interesting your comment about relocation... I'd move to the ends of the earth for the right school community... I've touched up my "objective" page to indicate that.

I also took to heart your comments on repetitive language and have cleaned up that paragraph a bit. Hopefully it reads a little better.

Hudson Valley: I've had one interview at a school along the Hudson, Storm King, and have applied to several others in the vicinity. I am strictly looking at boarding schools, so that limits the field a bit. I love the Hudson Valley, and would move in an instant.

The Top Ten has thrown some people off, but I've come to decide that if they can't at least accept it, much less find it mildly humorous, I'm probably not going to be a good fit.

I think the issue of "good fit" is the one that tries me the most.

Thanks for your comments.

Peter A. Stinson said...

I just had to think a bit... and I have, now.

1. I ditched the ampersands in the narrative autobiography.

2. I removed a few contractions to make things a little more formal.

Ms. V. said...

I left this on CTG's blog, but the Google Ads are distracting from your amazing credentials.

Wordpress makes really clean blogs, and I'm sure blogger does too. Sometimes wikis are just sort of messy IMO.

Good luck!

Miss Profe said...

Hi, Peter.

As a teacher who has taught in independent schools for thirteen years, here are some initial impressions:

Overall, it's a creative and original approach. Additionally, the top ten list a la David Letterman may not be well-received and perceived as lacking seriousness. Last, the Relocation Statement makes you seem desperate. I would consider leaving that off. Most intelligent folks at most independent schools know that you will relocate if the placement and price are right.